But expert warns that this simple act can be more beneficial to health than pills.
Holding hands is becoming an activity for the young and in love, leaving many older people lonely and missing out on important physical contact with family members.
These findings have been revealed today by Abbeyfield, a registered charity dedicated to enhancing the quality of life for older people, to launch Abbeyfield Week (5th – 13th June) and highlight the issue of loneliness for older people.
The poll of 3,000 people shows that more than half of people can’t remember the last time they held their grandparents hand and more than a quarter have never done so. However, almost a fifth of respondents, when asked whose hands they would most like to hold, said it would be the hand of a grandparent who has died.
Just one in twenty respondents have held the hand of their grandma in the last month and only one in twenty five made this contact with their granddad. The report reveals a similar gender trend with parents, while only six percent of those surveyed have never held hands with their mother, twice as many have never held hands with their father.
The research also reveals that the older you get, the more you regret that lack of contact. Almost half (48 percent) of respondents over 55, when asked whose hand they would most like to hold, said it would be that of a departed parent.
The majority of respondents (80 percent) associate holding hands with romance but this contact is most popular amongst the young. Of those surveyed aged 17 and under, 64 percent most wanted to hold hands with someone they were attracted to. This figure decreases with age until only 21 percent of those over 55 want to hold hands for romance. This older group are most likely to associate holding hands with dying, 15 percent compared to less than two percent of those surveyed aged 17 and under.
Well known psychologist Honey Langcaster-James has warned that people under estimate the importance of physical contact for the elderly and especially the healing power of holding hands. She said: “Whilst to young people holding hands may be a sign of romance or sexual attraction, for the elderly this simple act of physical contact can have huge health benefits and play an essential role in well-being. Many older individuals feel isolated and lonely and don’t have the opportunity to make physical contact with anyone. By holding hands with a friend, relative or someone you care for you’re sending a hugely important message that the individual is valued, important and noticed.”
She goes on to advise people to reach out and hold someone’s hand to help avoid the long term impact of isolation which include depression and loneliness: “For an elderly person, reaching for their hand can have far more benefits than giving them pills. Because we tend to begin holding hands with our parents when we’re small and helpless and later in our romantic relationships, the act of holding hands is associated with feelings of being loved and cared-for. That’s why it’s so vitally important for the elderly to have their hands held as often as possible, so they can remember and receive that same reassurance”.
Paul Allen, chief executive of Abbeyfield said: “Most people see holding hands as an act of romance but it has enormous benefits on a much wider scale. At Abbeyfield care homes and sheltered houses throughout the UK, our dedicated teams of volunteers and care staff see the benefits of holding hands on a daily basis, from providing companionship and comfort to reducing physical suffering and above all making our residents smile. We create environments where companionship flourishes and many residents will instinctively reach for the hand of whoever they are speaking to.
“Loneliness is a very real issue for the elderly and as our ageing population increases, so do the problems. During Abbeyfield Week we are highlighting the benefits of this simple act to encourage more people to hold hands with family members and friends, of all ages”
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